Fleshbot: Porn Valley

Kiki, Hear Our Mournful Call

pweasels — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 16:30:10 EST

Kiki D’Aire—you may know her by any of what seems like a couple of dozen spellings of Kiki D’Aire—is one of those girls who is just so darn cute that you can overlook things like her not being in porn anymore. Or is she? Read more after the gap, if you—well, just read more after the gap.

Hey, wait a minute – Kiki is back in porn! Or so the rumors went this summer. Reports placed the newly energized and rebusted beauty in LA and looking for work in July and August, but so far no new Kiki D’Aire movies are surfacing. One a week is all we ask – until that goal is reached we’ll subsist on our rich collection of old Kiki pictures, but please, directors – let’s get a move on!

(PORN VALLEY DISPATCH - Whether D'aire is married or single, in L.A. or New Orleans, is rich or poor or performing or not performing ever again or pregnant or a not-pregnant dominatrix depends on what time of day one talks with Kiki D'aire - ed.)

· Kiki D’Aire at IAFD.com (iafd.com)
· Kami, Kiki, and Anastasia: Battle of the exes (gramponante.com)
· Buy Kiki D’Aire’s movies (gamelink.com)

Pornographers For Obama

Lux Alptraum — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 12:30:00 EST

Somewhat not surprisingly, Porn Valley is rejoicing in the wake of Barack Obama's election. True, a McCain/Palin presidency would have led to a great deal of porntastic source material (largely on the Palin end), but with Obama in the White House, there's hope that we might see an end to all those nasty obscenity trials (and, perhaps, even the War on Porn). Let's all keep our fingers crossed that Obama has more important things to do than harrass the adult entertainment industry... and, uh, that he doesn't find out about any of that Obama porn that's out there (or that he has a good sense of humor!). (xbiz.com)

"9 To 5" In Porn: What A Way To Make A Living

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 16:45:49 EDT

As disappointed as we were to learn that current Fleshbot Extreme Pornstar Showdown contestants Sasha Grey and Belladonna are not starring in a hardcore remake of the of the 1980s Lily Tomlin/Dolly Parton/Jane Fonda workplace comedy classic, we're still intrigued by the trailer for this "behind the scene" porn documentary. Tes, we know it's been done before—but this one looks well shot, well done and ... what's the word? Oh, yeah ... interesting! In addition to our other extreme candidates, Mia Rose, Audrey Hollander, John Stagliano and other assorted Porn Valley characters might wander through. We're not sure yet when it will be playing somewhere we can see it, but you'll probably find us waiting in line when it is.

· 9 To 5: The Movie (9to5-themovie.com)

Elli And Desi Foxx Keep It In The Family

Lux Alptraum — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 11:20:20 EDT

Remember Elli and Desi Foxx—the mother and daughter who are so close that they do everything together, even porn? Well it turns out they're even closer than we knew: in addition to living together and having the same career, they also keep a joint blog! (Well, Desi seems to be the one who keeps it, but at least it seems to be about both of them.). If you're curious to know what the daily life of a mother and daughter who both happen to be porn performers is like (and who wouldn't be), you've come to the right place: the blog is full of things like news on their talk show appearances, assorted Porn Valley drama, and—of course—plenty of behind-the-scenes porn set action. After all, you know what they say about the family who ... well, we'll let you fill out the rest of that heartwarming phrase yourself.

· Porn In The Valley (desifoxx.com)

Porn Star Husbands: How The Other Half Lives

Jonnobot — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 15:30:05 EDT

Apparently, while being married to a porn star may provide an ego boost to some guys it also involves dealing with the fact that her job involves "eight hours a day getting plowed by guys with nicknames like Thug of Porn". Then again, it also means that your wife has to deal with the prospect of getting typecast as a MILF if her colleagues find out she's hitched, so we guess it all balances out in the end. Er, doesn't it? (men.style.com)

Popshots of the Week! The Long And Short Of It

Gram Ponante — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 21:15:19 EDT

As the lithe Audrey Elson might tell you, sometimes the best outfit is no outfit at all. Lounging on the set of the Anabolic production of director Ivan's "Creampie Explosions 3"—yes, they said it couldn't be made—the 5'10" Elson makes a good case for never wearing anything again.

Join us after the gap for more Popshots, in which we show porn stars not as the world sees them but how they really are.

. . .

Elson and Sascha—America's hardest-working male German porn performer!—discuss an issue common to every couple: Whither creampie?

Across town, tiny Destiny dons a kabuki mask and a strap-on (read my article in September's Atlantic Monthly: Rejected Kiss Army Accessories) for David Aaron Clark's "Asia Noir 6."

The striking Coco Velvett slowly melted into that couch for the next 45 minutes as Destiny turned into a demon.

In posh Bel-Air, bite-sized Teagan modeled her new breasts for photographer Holly Randall. "They actually bunce when I run," said Teagan.

Meanwhile, Roxy DeVille says, "Hello, Fleshbot Readers!"

"People would tell me about your ass, Teagan, " said the towering DeVille, "but I really had to see it to believe it. Oh My Fucking God."

When Earthquakes Attack

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 11:30:38 EDT

The 5.4 rumbler in Los Angeles and its environs may have put a scare into a few people yesterday, but the porn world bravely soldiered on as usual. The rest of the internet may have been all a-Twitter over some gal who got stuck with a hand in her vag at the gynecologist's office, but you try giving a blowjob on camera while the world is crumbling around you sometime. Did the earth move for you too, baby? (thenaughtyamerican.com + twitter.com, via Gawker; thumb via blackcockchock.com via askjolene.com)

"It Takes Two #6" To Make A Thing All Right

Gram Ponante — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 21:10:20 EDT

As was demonstrated by panelists at last year's Fleshbot Alpine Institute, 98.4 percent of porn DVD purchases are made on the basis of boxcover photos alone. So what do we learn about "It Takes Two #6"? Well, it is that hot-panted desert hookers still roam the earth, scenting the saguaro with their melon body spray and enticing the panamint chipmunk up their gym socks.

But Nika Noir and Jessica Valentino are not in the desert, really, unless you hold to the belief that Los Angheles is the desert. They writhe and strain in a house apocryphally linked to the Captain and Tennille (apparently the duo once stayed there, or so the story goes, and kept an elephant) overlooking Canoga Park; we see Porn Valley stretched out below them.

Then Mark Wood arrives. One can infer a lot from this photograph - it is as if most of him doesn't want to be there.

We visited this house when we told you about "Insertz. Nothing has changed!

Noir and Valentino kiss each other afterward, I guess for a job well done, but although every other part of their bodies has touched over the preceding 10 minutes, their faces never do.

Ultimately we felt like Mark Wood did.

· Red Light District (clubredlight.com)
· Buy "It Takes Two #6" (gamelink.com)

On The Porn Set With Dennis McGrath: You Are Really There

Jonnobot — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 12:05:07 EDT

Regular readers of Fleshbot know that there's been no shortage over the years of fancy photographer types who have set up their camera on the edge of a porn site to record their impressions of what making a dirty movie is "really" like, and although some of their efforts have turned out better than others most of the results are generally pretty much the same. Not so with the work of Dennis McGrath, however, who has recorded the on-set goings-on during various Porn Valley productions over the past several years. Even if no less an eminent authority as Fleshbot Crush Object Kimberly Kane Herself didn't call it "the most realistic look at what it’s like to be on a porn set in the valley I’ve ever seen," McGrath's photos are noteworthy for the way they seamlessly blend the workaday aspects of the skin trade with those occasional moments of sheer, unadulterated hotness that make all that tedium and standing around worthwhile.

As occasional visitors to porn sets ourselves, we can definitely say they're the next best thing to being there—minus the crafts service table and the smell of melon-scented body spray in the air.

• EXPLICIT (Photos by Dennis McGrath) (dennismcgrathphoto.blogspot.com, via blog.kanearmy.com - thanks JK)

Previously: No Love Lost: Photographs By Michael Grieve, "SFV Porn" by Vera Hartmann, Jeff Burton, "The Other Place", Jean-Christian Bourcart's "Infertile Madonnas": Deep Inside The Brothels Of Frankfurt, Elyse Butler: Sexual Tension, Strippers Of London, "Pink Box: Inside Japan's Sex Clubs", "Pornoland", Larry Sultan

As disturbing as it is to hear about a proposed...

Jonnobot — Tue, 20 May 2008 15:07:57 EDT

As disturbing as it is to hear about a proposed 25 percent tax on revenues from adult entertainment in California, we're even more startled by the claim that "Every second, $3,000 is being spent on adult entertainment"—though we should also remind you that you're not spending a cent as long as you're sitting there reading about porn taxes on Fleshbot. Feel free to buy us a beer with the money you're saving the next time you see us, k? (news.yahoo.com - thanks Andre; thumbnail via CoedsNeedCash.com)

Popshots Of The Week: Seeing Stars At The 2008 XRCO Awards

Gram Ponante — Thu, 01 May 2008 18:40:53 EDT

This year's XRCO (X-Rated Critics Organization) Awards were a departure from the genuinely directionless world of porn awards shows in that they started pretty close to when they should have and, halfway through, people were still sitting down to watch.

Of course, being an adult awards show, there was much more going on everywhere but the stage. Still, we made sure to watch now and then, seeing as how we're voters. See our gallery (now fully captioned!) after the gap.

. . .

· XRCO Awards (xrco.com)

2008 F.A.M.E. Nominations: Is It Any Wonder?

Gram Ponante — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 23:50:57 EDT

"I'm Anal Queen Jenna Haze," stated Jenna Haze the first time we met. "OMG YES YOU ARE!!!!1!!" we replied. Hence our lack of surprise that Haze has garnered the most nominations for the upcoming fan-based F.A.M.E. Awards, to be held as part of Erotica L.A. this June. Also high on the list were perennial favorites Belladonna, Tera Patrick, Stormy Daniels, Jesse Jane, Hillary Scott, and Bree Olson (but not, alas, Malabimba). Voting is open for devotees until June 6, and admission to the awards show is free to Erotica L.A. attendees.

· The F.A.M.E. Awards (thefameawards.com)
· Erotica LA 2008 (erotica-la.com)

Mika Tan Returns, Has Something To Show You

Gram Ponante — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:40:07 EDT

Longtime Fleshbot Crush Object and noted anti-shoulder stink crusader Mika Tan has returned to Porn Valley from an extended trip to the Mysterious East, and we couldn't be happier. This week she helped launch RudeTV, an adult internet TV station that happens to be located in the offices vacated by the defunct KSEXRadio. Tan worked her charm on callers from West Virginia and Boston, both of whom wanted her to play with dildos. "You guys are all about the dildos tonight," she remarked. "Well, all right."

The motivation for the pose above was: "Your shadow might wish you ill."

· RudeTV (rudetv.com)
· Mika Tan (mikatan.com)
· See also: "RudeTV sprouts from the grave of KSEX" (gramponante.com)

We love Nautica Thorn so much that we even...

Jonnobot — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 12:38:54 EDT

We love Nautica Thorn so much that we even sat through this really awkward video where her interviewer runs out of questions and you can't hear half of what she's saying because of all the background noise. Good thing she's every bit as adorable with the sound turned off. (hustlerworld.com - thanks Alex)

Porn Awards: This Time They're Urban

Gram Ponante — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 10:45:02 EDT

The Urban Spice Awards nominations are now open, celebrating "all aspects of urban erotica." While this debut event, to be hosted by the deliciously asstastic Olivia O'Lovely, shies away from a "Best White Performer" award, it does offer a "Freakiest" trophy—which is probably the best gauge of a performer's true merits as any we've heard of. The awards will be distributed in June in Studio City, and the dozens of nominees include Jada Fire, Candace Von, Luscious Lopez, Marie Luv, and Sasha Grey. Wait a minute ... Sasha Grey?

· Urban Spice Awards (urbanspiceawards.com)

Phyllisha Anne's Hot Boxxx

Gram Ponante — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 09:20:11 EDT

We like it when porn stars open stores rather than just websites. The MILFy and pneumatic porntrepreneur Phyllisha Anne will cut the ribbon on Hot Boxxx, her new "clothing and more store for hot ladies in and out of porn" at 6915 Melrose Avenue, this Sunday. Good thing, too, because most of porn's hot ladies (and their boxxxes) can't find their way south of Ventura Blvd. for fear of bursting into flame ... and many do! The grand opening will feature appearances by Chasey Lain and Kelly Wells. (entertainmentadult.com)

Casey Parker Forever! (Or At Least Another Year)

Gram Ponante — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:04:41 EDT

Delightful polyglot pixie Casey Parker has re-signed with mercurial studio Shane's World for another year as one of Porn's Only Contract Girls Whom Anyone Has Ever Heard Of. "There is no other studio I picture myself being a part of," Parker didn't actually say but a press release said she did. I just know that I'm happy she hasn't run off to play bass in Australia. See more snaps after the gap.

In the dawn of iPod Nano technology Parker stole away to pose in secret locations around Chatsworth. It was obvious then why Parker would be a big hit with fans.

"I'm going to flash this statue," she said.

· Casey Parker (caseyparker.com)
· Shane's World (gamelink.com)
· Buy "Casey Parker's California Dreamin'" (gamelink.com)

Popshots Of The Week: "Rollerdollz" Edition

Gram Ponante — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 21:32:49 EDT

Adam & Eve's biggest movie of 2008 is "Rollerdollz," a roller derby movie gone right. A co-production with Zero Tolerance and directed by James Avalon, "Rollerdollz" wrapped filming early this morning at a 60-year-old rink at the east end of Porn Valley as Ava Rose, Bree Olson, Eva Angelina, and Sunny Lane skated across the parquet to crash into each other in a sweaty, girly mass.

See more snaps after the gap.

The story is as American as "The Grapes of Wrath": two roller rivals settle their differences in each others' vaginas and somehow Ron Jeremy is involved. What's more, Kayden Kross adds that special element to luchador surf-guitar music.

L.A.'s Fearleaders cheer on a cast of non-nude but just as compelling extras, including members of a real-life L.A. women's roller derby league.

Penny Flame adjusts her blades, Eva Angelina dazzles the camera, and Sunny Lane ponders a return to her former career of figure skating as Alektra Blue surveys the scene. Sunny and Alektra are the cast's most accomplished skaters.

Don't ask what Ava Rose used to polish the floor; just be happy for me.

Bree Olson needlessly adjusts something (don't adjust a goddamn thing) while the referee explains a call to Sunny Lane.

A member of Glendale's Moonlite Rollerway staff told me that the rink's Over 50 club would be skating right over this spot the next day. If they had only seen Bree et al this way, doubtless they would not conclude that youth is wasted on the wrong people.

· Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
· Zero Tolerance (zerotolerance.com)

Porn Valley Dispatch: Brooke Bids Adieu-de

Gram Ponante — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 17:58:22 EDT

The delicious Brooke Haven, despite sharing my birthday, has nonetheless decided that she will no longer perform with guys, just sticking to the ladies from now on. In a more delicately-worded announcement, she also said that anal scenes were no longer on the menu. As this sort of thing tends to happen (sob) when performers get boyfriends (sob), we wish Ms. Haven only the best. Now we need to be alone with "Tea for the Tillerman" for a while.

· Brooke Haven (brookehaven.com)

Porn Valley Dispatch: Your Springtime Of Adult Awards

Gram Ponante — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 18:19:24 EST

The venerably ramshackle X-Rated Critics Awards (XRCO) and the Fans of Adult Media and Entertainment (FAME) Awards both announced their upcoming ceremonies this week. The XRCO is comprised of oldschool and die-hard porn watchers from around the world, and will hold its 24th annual fete on April 30 at the Highlands nightclub in Hollywood. Of all the myriad adult awards shows, the XRCO tends to take into account the porn world's history. The FAME Awards will celebrate its third year on June 7 as part of Erotica L.A. Nominations are now open for several categories in these fan-based honors. Why so many adult award shows? Six words: Shiny things, slutty dresses, Eva Angelina.

· XRCO (xrco.com)
· The FAME Awards (thefameawards.com)

Life In The Trenches: Brian Shackleford's "Porn Editor"

Gram Ponante — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 20:52:47 EST

If you are looking for the elusive missing link between porn and mainstream entertainment, the editor is the closest you'll get. Whichever side of the Hollywood sign he's on, when he surfaces after cutting up your movie, he usually hates it, and you. Brian Shackleford's mostly-Flash animated "Porn Editor," airing weekly on HBO, deals bluntly with the sadness of large breast desensitization, celebrity porn slumming, and mismanaged Avid expectations. (Ed. note: We know the feeling.)

. . .

· "Porn Editor" (youtube.com)

Christian Sings The Blues (And Gets To Bang Lots Of Hot Porn Chicks)

Jonnobot — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 11:29:22 EST

Depending what flavor of porn you're more familiar with, you may know Christian under his previous incarnation as Maxx Diesel, former exclusive for Falcon Studios: his career in the adult industry started after he emailed directrix Chi Chi LaRue, who (unsurprisingly) managed to talk him into doing gay porn. That was years ago, and the self-admittedly heterosexual Christian — who has since made a name for himself as one of straight porn's most sought-after leading men in productions for Digital Playground and Tristan Taormino, among many others— says he doesn't regret any of it , even if he still loses scenes on a regular basis because some silly girl is too squeamish to perform with him. "I mean, what do they think? That they're going to get cooties?" he asks on his blog, Christian Sings The Blues. He also talks about shopping at Target with Lexi Belle and being the third wheel on a date with Brett Brando and Penny Flame at the Hamburger Hamlet. His observations of life as a male performer are a rare glimpse into wjat really goes on in Porn Valley ... and what it's really like being Christian. - JC

· Christian Sings The Blues (christiansingstheblues.com)

Previously: "Breaking Into Porn": You Think It's Easy Banging Hot Chicks For A Living?

Porn Vegas Dispatch: Adrianna Lynn's Beef Council

Gram Ponante — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 22:34:46 EST

On the one hand, what newest Digital Playground contract girl Adrianna Lynn eats shouldn't be news. On the other hand, this site isn't called MorleySaferbot. Anyway, we asked the elegantly-tatted Dallas transplant where she goes for a good steak dinner in Los Angeles. Why did we ask this? We don't know. We were compelled to ask by a power bigger than us.

"There's a steak joint on every corner in Dallas and Plano," she said. "Seasoned, not cooked to death. What they sell in Los Angeles isn't steak. Only Claim Jumper comes close."

Maybe not news, but now we know what we're doing next time we go to Northridge.

· Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)

Porn Valley Dispatch: XBiz' One Month Later Awards

Gram Ponante — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 21:29:53 EST

Like you, we love the glamo(u)r and pageantry of adult awards shows, those almost-monthly events that show our brightest lights at their best. That is why XBiz has announced the nominees for its awards show—to take place February 7 with hostess Jesse Jane—the very week of AVN's awards: so that no one will think, "What will I have to look forward to after Saturday?" XBiz' nominations include business categories as well as the standard Director, Performer, and Movie selections covered more ~~redundantly~~ voluminously by their cross-Porn Valley rival.

· XBiz Awards-Recognizing Excellence in Adult Entertainment (xbizawards.com)

Congrats to porn hottie Kayden Kross, who...

Jonnobot — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 13:34:36 EST

Congrats to porn hottie Kayden Kross, who wasjust signed as Adam & Eve's newest contract star. We hate to gloat, but we totally knew she had it in her. (We also hate to use that joke again, but there you go.) (avn.com)

Return To Phoenix, AZ(Z): "I Bang Pornstars" Redux

Gram Ponante — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:45:33 EST

After some unpleasantness at his tennis job, Geoff "Chef Jeff" Mena returned to porn with the same reluctance that Michael Corleone returned to La Cosa Nostra in "G3". But the thing is, he's good at it. The shtick of I Bang Pornstars is that Jeff flies porn talent from Bob Hope to Sky Harbor, pays them a chunk of cash, does with them the only thing one can do in a Phoenix suburb, and more often that not soils the off-white pile condo carpeting. Above is a shot of his tryst with Carly Parker.

Well, somebody's gotta make porn in Arizona if Jenna isn't anymore and, seriously, Jeff—it beats tennis.

· I Bang Porn Stars (paysite@ibangpornstars.com)
· "Porn elbow: Mena's POV past clouds tennis career" (gramponante.com)

Commie pinko pervs that we are, we were...

Fleshbot — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 12:03:28 EST

Commie pinko pervs that we are, we were glad to see three of our very favorite things—porn, public radio, and subsidized healthcare—come together this weekend as NPR profiled Sharon Mitchell and the Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation. We also learned that Sharon will talk prospective talent out of a porn career if, say, they're even considering a job in education or politics someday. And you thought they were just about treating crabs! (npr.org; more @ aim-med.org, and more on AIM's "Porn 101" series here)

Porn Valley (Adjacent) Dispatch: "Sex With Sunset"

Gram Ponante — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 21:28:37 EST

If Mr. Holland were here (we need you, Mr. Holland - more than ever) he would not say "Play the sky", but "Fuck the Sunset". That's right: Sunset Thomas is hanging up her vagina after a storied porn career with one final onscreen fling, and a Fleshbot reader could be the lucky guy! Simply e-mail your information to Vavoom Pictures to be considered for a ride into the Sunset that will be released by Hustler. If you can make it to Las Vegas' Olympic Garden on January 10 to be sized up by the Bunny Ranch veteran, yours might be the last thing the world sees as Sunset gracefully fades from view.

· Vavoom Pictures (vavoomtv.com)
· Sunset Thomas (sunsetslife.com)
· Hustler (hustlerworld.com)

* * * * *

Previously: Porn Valley Archive

Not everyone appreciates Jenna's entreprenurial...

Fleshbot — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 14:33:13 EST

Not everyone appreciates Jenna's entreprenurial spirit as much as we do, however: following the sexual health of the adult industry, fellow pornstress Anita Cannibal took La Jameson to task for not doing enough to promote safer sex in her movies. We guess we could take Anita to task too for promoting cannibalism as a mainstream sexual activity, but why add to all the drama? (laist.com)

Porn Valley (Adjacent) Dispatch: Joselyn Pink Hits Mound House

Gram Ponante — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 18:29:25 EST

We were horrified to realize that we did not know that famous brothel the Moonlite Bunny Ranch was located in a town called Mound House (we were far less surprised to learn that its street address is 69). Regardless, Miss Nude Internet 2006 Joselyn Pink will be taking her first tour there from November 30 until December 11. The lithe Pink is eager to meet her fans, especially Fleshbot readers delighted their favorite website now advertises prostitution. (And Sunny Lane is there, too!)

· Joselyn Pink (joselynpink.com)
· Bunny Ranch (bunnyranch.com)

Previously: Porn Valley Archive

Despite the squillions of dollars that are...

Fleshbot — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 11:28:53 EST

Despite the squillions of dollars that are made in the porn business every year, one analyst thinks that 2007 will be the first year the adult industry sees negative growth. (Which has absolutely nothing to do with the picture of Carmen Luvana to your left; we just needed something to put there to keep all those numbers a little more interesting.) (aetoday.com; thumbnail via ClubCarmen.com)

Porn Valley (Adjacent) Dispatch: Topless Karaoke In Dayton

Gram Ponante — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 17:39:13 EST

When Burbank authorities cracked down on nudity at Porn Star Karaoke, many wept. Now Dayton's Flamingo Showclub is hosting its second Topless Karaoke safely within its sugar walls this Wednesday night, and singers are required to be topless. There is something almost overwhelmingly sexy about a lusty, White Castle-eating Ohio peeler belting "Run to the Hills", such as Felicia Fox (pictured), so don't miss this opportunity.

· Flamingo Showclub (flamingoshowclub.com)

Fleshbot Commenters: Strength in Shame

Gram Ponante — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 08:49:45 EST

You can go elsewhere for inside peeks at how things work around the Fleshbot compound and mothership, but I'll just say that in my three years working here I have only met one other Gawker Media personality who wasn't already known to me. Such is the terrible loneliness required of being so goddamn scintillating, that gathering us in one room might vaporize the vicinity in white-hot fire.

Thus it was odd when I joined a party for little sister site Jezebel's commenters in L.A. (I supplied the door prize porn). I had one thing on my mind: Find out why we've got, like, eight commenters on Fleshbot while all other Gawker Media blogs have thousands.

First, who would have thought to have a party for commenters? Well, delightful pixie Molly McAleer, girl videographer of Defamer, that's who.

"So many people comment on the site that I thought I'd put together a Jezebel party," she said. "Can you bring porn?"

"Yes," I said, "but your commenters identify themselves to each other and aren't content to just read the site?"

"No, they feel compelled to add their opinion and build community," she didn't actually say, but might have.

At the party, which was attended by about 20 Jezebel commenters of varied ages and genders, from students to married couples to a nascent epidemiologist to someone who said Dario Argento's most recent film made her sad, I asked people - all Fleshbot readers, too - why they never commented on our compelling and turgidifying fare.

Here are the top three reasons:

· "I can't look at cocks at work."

· "I don't want someone clicking my username on (apparently wholesome site) Defamer and tracing it to Fleshbot."

· "What more can I say about dirtpipe milkshakes?"

So there you have it: repression, shame, and ignorance. We're better than this, Fleshbot readers. For some reason, comments say as much about a site as Alexa ratings. So take your work laptop into the bathroom with you and look at cocks there, and comment on those cocks, and learn about all the wonderful places they go, and comment on that, too.

And then maybe Fleshbot commenters can get a party someday.

* * * * *

Previously: Fleshbot Comments: Stalking Made Easy

Porn Valley (Adjacent) Dispatch: Brooke Haven in Florida

Gram Ponante — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 21:12:12 EST

Brooke Haven, fascinating to scholars for the bridge she provides between the SoCal pornstress look of the late 90's/early oughts and today's 12-to-a-bag models, dons her stripper heels for a visit to West Palm Beach's Spearmint Rhino this Thursday through Saturday. Haven is particularly asstastic and leggy, reminiscent of an earlier, simpler time in peeling for dollars. Seeing strippers in Florida, too, is like seeing The Beatles in Liverpool or, um, Welsh Corgis in Wales; Florida invented strippers and three out of five Florida residents is named "Desire".

Haven enjoys the WPR's appreciative gentlemen's club connoisseurs. ""It's going to be a blast," she said. "Me, them, lack of clothes; always a a good time!"

· Brooke Haven (brookehaven.com)
· Spearmint Rhino (spearmintrhino.com)

Previously: Porn Of The Moment Archive

Memphis Monroe (And Her Bewbies) Come to Las Vegas

Gram Ponante — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 11:48:49 EST

Even though we have never gone to a Hustler Casino, our impressions of them are fonda anyway since every bus in L.A. sports a poster of Memphis Monroe hyping them. Kentucky's own Monroe is now no longer a Hustler contract girl (and Hustler has abandoned that whole contract girl business since she left), so she is no longer jetting around to Hustler Hollywood stores in Ohio on Uncle Larry's Gulfstream but meeting fans the old-fashioned way: in Vegas with a new set of boobs.

"I got new bewbies," Monroe said in an e-mail (although I could have told how she spelled that word in person just by looking at her mouth. Oh God. I think I need to be alone.) "And I need to try them out."

To that end, Monroe is flogging her relaunched website by inviting two lucky (and carefully vetted) contest winners with her for a weekend in Vegas that will include "strip clubs and partying with me."

On the face of it, going to a strip club with Memphis Monroe sounds like a huge pile of fun, but if you have ever gone to a strip club with a hot girl you can define anew the word "invisible", because strippers will pay no attention to you aside from shoving you out of their way. Still, Monroe says, the point is you'll be with her and she can cater the weekend around you.

What's more, the other contest winner comes on a different weekend so you get Monroe (and her bodyguard) all to yourself.

Yes, yes, yes. But what about the boobs?

"The boobies are great!!" Monroe said. "I love them, they feel so natural and hang really nice..."

All right. Well I'm convinced. So there you are, with your boobs, and I have just won a trip to Vegas with you...

"The winners really get the treat," she said. "First off, they will be flown into Las Vegas where they will be met by limo and a VIP host. They will then be taken to their Strip hotel (we haven't chosen the hotel yet). Throughout their time in Las Vegas they will be getting dinner reservations, hitting the gentleman's clubs, VIP bottle service at the nightclubs, laying poolside in the cabana, sightseeing the Strip, and a Spa Package from their hotel. All with me by their side."

"I still don't understand bottle service," I said.

"I explain the whole thing."

· Memphis Monroe Contest (memphiscontest.com)

Porn Valley (Adjacent) Dispatch: Jesse Jane In Miami

Gram Ponante — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 19:30:55 EDT

It's not too often that Jesse Jane is seen in public; sometimes she appears for a few moments to smile and make a pronouncement, sometimes she can be glimpsed in grainy newsreel footage, other times sightings are dismissed as hoaxes. (Wait, that's Pope Benedict XVI, King Edward VII, and Bigfoot.) But still, we don't see Jane as often as we'd like, and even for tomorrow's "Pirates in the Dark" party at Miami Beach's Club Mansion, the assumption is that she'll be partially obscured. Regardless, she'll be giving away DVDs and cash in honor of the Halloween holiday.

"I can't wait to host this awesome event and meet all the cool people who come out to party with me," Jane said, referring to Fleshbot readers, in particular, for their $20 admission.

· Jesse Jane (jessejane.com)
· Club Mansion (theopiumgroup.com)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive

"Porn Queen" Says No To Throat Polyps, Lemonade Fountains, And Aerosol Custard

Fleshbot — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 15:38:36 EDT

It may pander to some of the most insidious stereotypes about the adult industry (not all porn agents wear cheesy tropical print shirts, you know), but we have to give props to the folks behind this short film for providing us with an entire symphony's worth of rusty trombone-style sex terms to toss around. We may never have heard of many of them, but you can be sure that we'll be looking for a willing partner to butter some cabbage with just as soon as we can.

· Mouthpieces: "Porn Queen" by koochew (funnyordie.com - thanks Alex)

Porn Valley (Adjacent) Dispatch: Monica Mayhem Goes on Stripabout

Gram Ponante — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 13:21:27 EDT

The demands placed on today's peeling professional are, we'd venture, greater than those of her/or his burlesque forebears. Monica Mayhem, the fine-tooled, machine-crafted and athletic grinding machine from Down Under, is the quintessential millennial stripper: she's hard, dangerously sexy, and is possessed of the power to make $10 bills fly from your teeth. She will be at San Francisco's Crazy Horse on Market Street tonight and tomorrow.

We don't know which hair color Mayhem will be sporting at her shows - maybe it will be both! - so if you go, please let us know.

· Monica Mayhem (monicamayhemxxx.com)
· Crazy Horse (CrazyHorsw-sf.com)
· Monica Mayhem adjusting - just because (gramponante.com)

"Busty Hookers" Takes Its Place In The Pantheon

Gram Ponante — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 20:42:20 EDT

Of the many awards bestowed in last week's Nightmoves convention in Tampa (by all accounts a fun time, though we have never been offered airline tickets, free hotel and transportation, and happy ending massages from stern but grateful gator-wrasslin' women), none so captures the zeitgeist of the porn industry past and present than "Busty Hookers" winning an Editor's Choice award for Best Gonzo Release. Not since "Busty Hookers Who Are Also My Bartender" have we felt the stars align so fluidly.

· Night Moves (nmea.com)
· Buy "Busty Hookers" (gamelink.com)

It's not easy being Max Hardcore or working...

Fleshbot — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 14:18:18 EDT

It's not easy being Max Hardcore or working for JM Productions when your job involves things like onerous 2257 record keeping requirements and funding war chests to help defray the costs of expensive legal battles. And you thought being a pornographer was only about fun and games and hot cuckold MILFs? (AVN)