As was demonstrated by panelists at last year's Fleshbot Alpine Institute, 98.4 percent of porn DVD purchases are made on the basis of boxcover photos alone. So what do we learn about "It Takes Two #6"? Well, it is that hot-panted desert hookers still roam the earth, scenting the saguaro with their melon body spray and enticing the panamint chipmunk up their gym socks.

Regular readers of Fleshbot know that there's been no shortage over the years of fancy photographer types who have set up their camera on the edge of a porn site to record their impressions of what making a dirty movie is "really" like, and although some of their efforts have turned out better than others most of the results are generally pretty much the same. Not so with the work of Dennis McGrath, however, who has recorded the on-set goings-on during various Porn Valley productions over the past several years. Even if no less an eminent authority as Fleshbot Crush Object Kimberly Kane Herself didn't call it "the most realistic look at what it’s like to be on a porn set in the valley I’ve ever seen," McGrath's photos are noteworthy for the way they seamlessly blend the workaday aspects of the skin trade with those occasional moments of sheer, unadulterated hotness that make all that tedium and standing around worthwhile.

This year's XRCO (X-Rated Critics Organization) Awards were a departure from the genuinely directionless world of porn awards shows in that they started pretty close to when they should have and, halfway through, people were still sitting down to watch.

Of course, being an adult awards show, there was much more going on everywhere but the stage. Still, we made sure to watch now and then, seeing as how we're voters. See our gallery (now fully captioned!) after the gap.

"I'm Anal Queen Jenna Haze," stated Jenna Haze the first time we met. "OMG YES YOU ARE!!!!1!!" we replied. Hence our lack of surprise that Haze has garnered the most nominations for the upcoming fan-based F.A.M.E. Awards, to be held as part of Erotica L.A. this June. Also high on the list were perennial favorites Belladonna, Tera Patrick, Stormy Daniels, Jesse Jane, Hillary Scott, and Bree Olson (but not, alas, Malabimba). Voting is open for devotees until June 6, and admission to the awards show is free to Erotica L.A. attendees.

· The F.A.M.E. Awards (thefameawards.com)
· Erotica LA 2008 (erotica-la.com)

Longtime Fleshbot Crush Object and noted anti-shoulder stink crusader Mika Tan has returned to Porn Valley from an extended trip to the Mysterious East, and we couldn't be happier. This week she helped launch RudeTV, an adult internet TV station that happens to be located in the offices vacated by the defunct KSEXRadio. Tan worked her charm on callers from West Virginia and Boston, both of whom wanted her to play with dildos. "You guys are all about the dildos tonight," she remarked. "Well, all right."

The motivation for the pose above was: "Your shadow might wish you ill."

· RudeTV (rudetv.com)
· Mika Tan (mikatan.com)
· See also: "RudeTV sprouts from the grave of KSEX" (gramponante.com)

Porn Awards: This Time They're Urban

The Urban Spice Awards nominations are now open, celebrating "all aspects of urban erotica." While this debut event, to be hosted by the deliciously asstastic Olivia O'Lovely, shies away from a "Best White Performer" award, it does offer a "Freakiest" trophy—which is probably the best gauge of a performer's true merits as any we've heard of. The awards will be distributed in June in Studio City, and the dozens of nominees include Jada Fire, Candace Von, Luscious Lopez, Marie Luv, and Sasha Grey. Wait a minute ... Sasha Grey?

· Urban Spice Awards (urbanspiceawards.com)

Delightful polyglot pixie Casey Parker has re-signed with mercurial studio Shane's World for another year as one of Porn's Only Contract Girls Whom Anyone Has Ever Heard Of. "There is no other studio I picture myself being a part of," Parker didn't actually say but a press release said she did. I just know that I'm happy she hasn't run off to play bass in Australia. See more snaps after the gap.

Adam & Eve's biggest movie of 2008 is "Rollerdollz," a roller derby movie gone right. A co-production with Zero Tolerance and directed by James Avalon, "Rollerdollz" wrapped filming early this morning at a 60-year-old rink at the east end of Porn Valley as Ava Rose, Bree Olson, Eva Angelina, and Sunny Lane skated across the parquet to crash into each other in a sweaty, girly mass.

See more snaps after the gap.

Porn Valley Dispatch: Brooke Bids Adieu-de

The delicious Brooke Haven, despite sharing my birthday, has nonetheless decided that she will no longer perform with guys, just sticking to the ladies from now on. In a more delicately-worded announcement, she also said that anal scenes were no longer on the menu. As this sort of thing tends to happen (sob) when performers get boyfriends (sob), we wish Ms. Haven only the best. Now we need to be alone with "Tea for the Tillerman" for a while.

· Brooke Haven (brookehaven.com)

"What's better than Hollywood with a pool, some honeys, and some beer?" asks folksy Mud the narrator.

Carlos Batts' "Young Hollywood" is a little like the Grover's Corners of "Our Town": everyone knows each other, there is a kindly narrator and, as the spirit of Death is ever-present in Thornton Wilder's New Hampshire hamlet, so does Glenn Danzig hover above young Hollywood. The similarities end there, though, because you'd never expect Emily Webb to flash her tits to get into a music video the way Mandy Morbid does. Read our review after the gap.

The venerably ramshackle X-Rated Critics Awards (XRCO) and the Fans of Adult Media and Entertainment (FAME) Awards both announced their upcoming ceremonies this week. The XRCO is comprised of oldschool and die-hard porn watchers from around the world, and will hold its 24th annual fete on April 30 at the Highlands nightclub in Hollywood. Of all the myriad adult awards shows, the XRCO tends to take into account the porn world's history. The FAME Awards will celebrate its third year on June 7 as part of Erotica L.A. Nominations are now open for several categories in these fan-based honors. Why so many adult award shows? Six words: Shiny things, slutty dresses, Eva Angelina.

· XRCO (xrco.com)
· The FAME Awards (thefameawards.com)

Depending what flavor of porn you're more familiar with, you may know Christian under his previous incarnation as Maxx Diesel, former exclusive for Falcon Studios: his career in the adult industry started after he emailed directrix Chi Chi LaRue, who (unsurprisingly) managed to talk him into doing gay porn. That was years ago, and the self-admittedly heterosexual Christian — who has since made a name for himself as one of straight porn's most sought-after leading men in productions for Digital Playground and Tristan Taormino, among many others— says he doesn't regret any of it , even if he still loses scenes on a regular basis because some silly girl is too squeamish to perform with him. "I mean, what do they think? That they're going to get cooties?" he asks on his blog, Christian Sings The Blues. He also talks about shopping at Target with Lexi Belle and being the third wheel on a date with Brett Brando and Penny Flame at the Hamburger Hamlet. His observations of life as a male performer are a rare glimpse into wjat really goes on in Porn Valley ... and what it's really like being Christian. - JC

· Christian Sings The Blues (christiansingstheblues.com)

Previously: "Breaking Into Porn": You Think It's Easy Banging Hot Chicks For A Living?