Jane was just about to squirt chocolate on herself, at which point my camera was jostled by ravening lesbians who proceeded to lick it off her.

The event was the Exotic Erotic Ball, a hit or miss affair with heart and soul and plenty of local color. Like this protester's sign, however, the Ball tried to cater to as diverse a group as possible but didn't have its act together. Still, the friendliness of the crowd inside was a very welcome and opposite counterpoint to the real hatred of this group of protesters.

Down south, delightful pixie Aiden Starr auditions for Erica McLean and Carlos Batts' upcoming "Alice in Wonderland" porn adaptation (which will be at least the third this year and, if she gets the role, Starr's second foray through the looking glass).

April Flores, of course, plays the Red Queen. I think that will be awesome.

Across Porn Valley, Ashlynn Brooke plays Sookie in New Sensations' adaptation of "True Blood," scripted by Brooke herself. She is so unbelievably pretty I forgot her clothes were on.

The chameleonic Misty Stone plays Tara (she just found out Lafayette was dead) and Evan Stone plays Evan Stone playing a guy from the show. In the background we see Ralph Long, pulling double duty as a boom operator (we last saw Long as Screech in "This Ain't Saved by the Bell" as well as in "The Sex Files").

Finally we managed to get inside, to Silverlake's Bigfoot Lodge (this reporter's local bar), where at 10 in the morning Misty Stone inspired more wood within the woody surroundings.

It really was Tommy Gunn's week: First he debuted his pretty awesome "Cummin at You" 3-D porn, in which he and Sindee Jennings literally COME RIGHT AT YOU, and then he trotted off to fuck Jada Fire in Dave Naz's upcoming "Cheating Hollywood Wives" for Private.

I love this picture of Jada Fire. She looks like the type of backup singer the star gets jealous of and kicks off the tour.

Next is Bree Olson in the upcoming "Bree's College Daze 3" for Adam & Eve. Like ZZ Top once did, Bree travels to various places - in the case of these movies, colleges - and makes things right. With her very Breeness.

Breeness rhymes with penis, and that is exactly what Mr. Marcus has up Sasha Grey in "Cheating Hollywood Wives." See how I worked that in there? See how Mr. Marcus did? One seems more fun than the other ...

Starring Kimberly Kane as Dana Scully and the dreamy Anthony Rosano as Mulder (with the magically delicious Ashlynn Brooke going back to her dark roots temporarily to play a demoness), "The X-Files: A Dark Parody" was conceived as an actual "X Files" episode but with sex, taking place in the time in the series when Gillian Anderson's Scully became pregnant and fans wondered if she'd been Muldered and Californicated.

Why does this excite us? Because this is geeky fan fiction with a porn twist just as much as it is a marketing ploy.

And like the Sam and Diane of the FBI, people wanted Mulder and Scully to get their X on. The two characters get together in the movie's climactic scene - and it's not a dream sequence.

One thing that is the stuff of fantasy is Ashlynn Brooke's rack.

"She has the best fake boobs I have ever seen," said Kane.

"The X Files: A Dark Parody" will be released in September.

· New Sensations (newsensations.com)

The sets, costumes, locations, and general breadth of this porn production are very impressive, and we look forward to the finished product, which is scheduled to be available in September (i.e. in time for AVN nominations).

Keni Styles, (straight) Porn's Only Asian Male Performer^TM, costars.

Most impressive, though, is that McKenzee Pierce and Jesse Capelli were probably the first women in years to actually show nipples at Hollywood's delightfully seedy (and pasties-only) Jumbo's Clown Room.

Sasha Grey, of course, was sanguine about the scope of the production.

"Yes," she said, "it's a rabbit."

a href="http://misslucifer.tv">Miss Lucifer (misslucifer.tv)
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a href="http://misslucifer.tv">Miss Lucifer (misslucifer.tv)
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Miss Lucifer (misslucifer.tv)

Santa Monica cops checked invitations, true, but after that the uniforms became far more sparse. Try high heels, wings or horns, some glitter, and nothing else.

Nina Hartley, Sunny Lane, Ava Rose, Alexa Jordan, Savannah Stern, Jenna Brooks, Kayden Kross, Maria Bellucci, and dozens of other porn luminaries mixed and mingled in this latest in Hustler's five-year family reunions. This one was held at the Santa Monica Airport, which allowed Larry Flynt to be taxied in in his jet.

I didn't know it until later, but longtime Hustler photographer/director Richard Monfort (nom de porn: Richard de Montfort) had died about a week before. This party would have been right up his alley, especially since the "Heaven" and "Hell" sides of the room seemed to keep changing sides. But he especially would have appreciated the familiar, family atmosphere of the event, hard as that might be to explain when you've got Ava Rose in her altogether.

It's also hard to tell what the road to either destination is paved with when you can't stop looking at Sunny Lane. But no one said it was easy.

So Happy Birthday, Hustler, and a fond farewell, Richard.

· Hustler (hustler.com)

I never learned what happened between Tony DeSergio, Oliver Sanchez and Evans on the set of Harmony Films' "Gazzman's Perfect Breasts" (director Gazzman, even though the breasts aren't actually his, at least has great taste in them; tomorrow he's shooting Aiden Starr), because I feared bursting into flame, but several things are certain:

1. Evans' breasts are great
2. The Tampa native even has great breasts when she's sitting down
3. One of Porn's many fantasy elements, I've just realized, must be fucking on the surface of the Sun

· Gazzman (myspace.com)

"I got them April 11," she said. "They're straightening my teeth."

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??

· Dana DeArmond (theinternetsgirlfriend.com)
· Erotica LA (erotica-la.com)

...and below, why we wouldn't want to live there.

Why is Joanna Angel reading my copy of "Jaws"? I don't know. Why not? 3,000 bucks buy a lot of roast.

Here's Nicole Ray saying Hello, Fleshbot Readers. Holy God.

Ashley Fires, barefoot and on fire, wins the Miss XBiz Summer Forum. Chim-chiminee.

Scarlett Fay and Nicole Ray increase Hutler's visibility.

Ava Rose is oiled and ready. Aren't you? I am.

Jenny Hendrix is an excellent mixologist. Her signature drink is called a Liquid Panty Remover and consists of a can of Fuze Slenderizer and vodka.

Stoya is a big fan of Lychee liquor mixed with Sprite. She didn't have a name for it so we're going to call it a Triumph of the Will in honor of her recent exploits.

Wicked contract star and all-around down-to-earth person Kirsten Price nevertheless is partial to anything with Grey Goose in it.

"I like the Greyhound, which is Grey Goose with grapefruit juice in it," she said. "Plus the grapefruit speeds up your metabolism."

Kayden Kross drinks maybe once a month, but it's still hard to distrust the clean-living, horse-riding dollop of sunshine. "When and if I drink," she says, "I drink cosmopolitans."

Have you ever invented a drink?

"No," she said, "I really don't drink much."

If a reader were to send you a drink recipe and name it after you, might you drink it?

"Yes," she said. "Now leave me alone."

(She didn't actually ask to be left alone.)

New Jersey's own Tommy Gunn, now that he lives in California, can't tell one season from another, which makes his drink of choice an evergreen one, whether he is servicing women or hunting them with his crossbow.

"Shots of Patron," he said.

Oddly enough, Jennings played young Sarah Palin in the original Sarah Palin porn that debuted before the 2008 election (and which remains Hustler's best selling title). And, since older Palin could not have sex with her younger self (the world would have exploded, according to scientists), Jennings-as-Fey was concocted.

"Hollywood's Nailin' Palin" will be released early this summer.

· Hustler (hustler.com)

That's Scarlett Fay and Nicole Ray in an upcoming Lindsey Lohan v. Scarlett Johansson project that Hustler is putting together. I wish it were ba "Mean Girls"-meets-"Ghost World" sort of thing, like "Mean Ghost," but it's not. Oh well. I'll watch it anyway.

Oh, the "Big Butt Oil Orgy." I'll have those pictures in my head and those smells in my nose for months. Think again if you ever thought porn was easy. Imagine walking through baby oil that sluiced off the likes of Ava Rose, Lisa Ann, Kristina Rose, Sophie Dee, Kagney Linn Karter, and Angelina Ash (and that's lucky bastard Mr. Pete over there, too).

It presents an impossibility: You can hardly walk erect but everything around you compels you to do so.

Back to Nicole Ray, here she is with Lucky Bastard #2, Chris Charming. And his Bastardito.

Finally, what says Fun more than a booze-up at Hollywood's Viper Room with the Tom Hanks of Porn, Evan Stone?

It was 99 degrees at 6 p.m. and Karter had just toweled off after performing a scene for Vivid on the baking roof slates. In high heels she seemed like an Amazon, but stands barefoot at 5'4". Still, I was worried she would burst into flame any moment up there, with her heels edging her ever closer to the Sun.

Despite this, the delightful Karter was nice enough to grant one more photo as the shadows (and only the shadows - we don't let anything get in the way of the work) got longer.

· Kagney Linn Karter (kagneylinnkarter.com)
· Vivid (vivid.com)

Daniels, who is making a stangely not altogether quixotic run for the U.S. Senate, could have used her porn superstar status to call the movie "Stormented" but she is humble, so she did not.

She and Starr donned getups reminiscent of Tom Petty videos and Mad Hatter's (played by Austrian Mick Blue) Tea Parties for this segment, which serves as a fever dream Stormy's character has while in the Crazy Hospital.

Daniels is herself petite, but Starr looked microscopic by comparison.

"You look like a trial size," Stormy said.

The Wicked Pictures set in North Hollywood was festooned with storybook props, all of which were solid and unyielding. Hard to fuck on, in other words.

But the woman who might some day be known in Senate parlance as The Lady from Louisiana took it in stride. "I'm pretty tough," she said.

Yes, you are. We have a feeling you'll go a lot farther in politics than Mary Carey did.

· Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com)

I can't imagine director Ernest Greene doing anything that doesn't involve the fleshly transfer of power. McDonald's drive-through? "McFloggets, please." At the dry cleaners? "Extra wire hangers, please." At church? "More nails."

That is why his "Perfect Secretary 2: Training Day" (he didn't direct the original) for Adam & Eve somehow involves Justine Joli being trussed like a delightful, wriggling roast sylph by the imperious and near-translucent Claire Adams.

That is why the sturdy and yelly secretarial student Mika Tan is ground by and grinds in turn the likes of Marco Banderas and Chris Cannon, nearly ruining a suite of office furniture in the process.

That is why Kayden Kross must take dictation to the beat of harsh swats from a riding crop.

The movie will be released—as if from restraints—some time this summer. I attended the filming and, since I have memories that will last a lifetime (and because I'll get it for free), won't need to buy the movie. But you really should.

· Adam & Eve (adameve.com)

We've heard a great deal about "The Office XXX" lately, and New Sensations hopes to keep people talking by releasing a series of interstitial webisodes, sort of like "Battlestar Galactica" if Boomer and Caprica Six just got with the program and disrobed.

West, Gianna Michaels, Ashlynn Brooke, Nika Noire, and Faye Reagan star in the webisodes, which will, as you can see, be of the hardcore variety.

As fun and slick as "The Office XXX" appears, we can't help but wonder if it driving the Mom & Pop "Crack Whore Confessions" from the marketplace.

· The Office XXX (theofficexxx.com)
· The Office XXX just chills until the next webisode (gramponante.com)
· Buy "The Office XXX" (gamelink.com)

Above, the lovely Nika Noire and the amiable Randy Spears engage in some administrative activities on Really Casual Friday for New Sensations' "Office XXX" upcoming webisodes.

Down the hall, Dane Cross remarks to James Deen that Thallium "cuts like a knife/But it feels so right." Or is that Zirconium?

In the green room for Adam & Eve's "Kayden And Rocco Make A Porno," screenwriter Kayden Kross gives equally alliterative Rocco Reed a couple of tips.

Barefoot Tori Black decides on lingerie in a Harmony Films shoot in which the carpet appears above the table.

...and then argues a point with director Gazzman by means of a rhetorical tactic that guarantees victory.

Finally, here's some Cetaphil, a product that not only moistens and strengthens skin but which also serves the noble purpose of simulating ejaculate for boxcover photos long after the real stuff has crusted up or been toweled off.

Leading off this installment is Kirra Lynne, caught getting into character for the movie "Oh No! There's A Negro in my Daughter! 2." Guess what part she played?

Golf Cougar Persia is seen here lounging on the bed she purchased as an accessory to that dress. Persia is 50 and we have a crush on her.

A spring chicken by comparison, Tina Tyler poses at a Porn Valley landmark.

The cast of New Sensations' "Scrubs XXX" in a location we actually had to sign an NDA about. Porn is so silly. But Ashlynn Brooke is deadly, deadly serious.

Observed through the window of a North Hollwood 7-11, Hollie Stevens chats on the phone while buying a replacement lighter. On the other line? Jesus Christ Himself.

Finally, here's the delightful April Flores decked out in flapper garb for the Hollywood premiere of "Voluptuous Biker Babes."

· West Coast Productions (westcoastprod.com)
· Vannah Sterling (myspace.com)

The producers of "Oh No! There's A Negro in My Daughter 2" knew that only I could bring the type of jowly gravitas to the role of the bookish and distant dad of perky, gap-toothed and barely legal Kira Lynne, who gets my attention by having couch-rattling sex with Jon Jon just inches away.

Of course, I had to submit to hours of aging makeup and was not allowed to bring my own clothing.

Drawing inspiration from Gregory Peck's performance in "To Kill A Mockingbird," I at first expressed grave reservations about Kira's outfit, behavior, and choice of mate, but then allowed my character to gracefully arc through tolerance, acceptance and, ultimately, synthesis. Would that my instructors at Shakespeare & Co. have seen me, doubtless they would have been in awe at my powerful resolve and the titanic reserve I displayed at not breaking character all over Kirra's face.

And I feel that my performance elevated those of my co-stars, a testament to my Meisner, Method, and Scientology training. For their part, directors Grip and Cram Johnson coaxed from me a career-defining interpretation.

I admit that I face competition in the very same movie from the likes of Dirty Harry and Herschel Savage, but I really feel that my entirely improvised performance, my eye contact and emotional connection with my scene partners, will make 2010 my year. I've earned this.

. . .

· Chatsworth Pictures (chatsworthpictures.com)
· Buy "Oh No! There's A Negro in My Daughter 2" (jerkoffzone.com)

I took 3000 pictures of nude pornstresses and nude pornstresses-adjacent this year, which is nothing compared to people who do it well.

From conventions to porn sets to photo shoots at disreputable hotels, Porn Valley came to America.

At no point during the creation of these pictures did I think, "Boy, I'm in the wrong line of work."

But I did often think, "Boy, I'm in the wrong pair of pants."

Happy New Year, friends.

Not that that was bad. Jenny Hendrix? Jaelyn Fox? Sara Vandella? Lana Violet? Still, as commenters pointed out, even a porn parody of "The Cosby Show" should have some black people in it. So today I met the full cast, including (from left, top) Tyler Knight as Theo, Misty Stone as Lisa, Monica Foster as Claire, an actor who has not yet chosen his porn name as Cliff (but he had the voice down cold), Cassidy Clay as Sondra and - both the following women are, in fact, 20 - Nina Devan as Rudy and Melody Narai as Vanessa.

The movie is directed by Will Ryder and produced by Scott David, who is also responsible for the 60 costumes for a dozen cast members. "I went to every thrift store in L.A. at least five times," he said.

I was there for two days and I still don't know what the plot is, but everyone was having an excellent time, including the dapper Tee Real, who plays Cockroach (seen here with the delicious Jaelyn Fox) and Dick James, whom I affectionately call Lucky Bastard, seen here with Sara Vandella, Fox, Jenny Hendrix, and Lana Violet.

I posed the obvious question to director Will Ryder.

"So," I said, "do you think - "

"Yes, I think we'll get sued," he said.

· All Media Play (allmediaplay.com)

While Dick James orally services a bored Jenny Hendrix ("I'm not taking any dicks today," she said) , and while Lana Violet and Jaelyn Fox drum on the thighs of a thrilled Jay Ashley, Long Island's own Sarah Vandella beams at Fleshbot readers with a cock growing out of her head.

We want to make a humpy-back camel with Vandella. "Not the Cosbys XXX," pending resolution of lawsuits, will be available early next year.

· X Play (allmediaplay.com)

Lest you thought you were watching yet another reason for the mothballing of Guantanamo Bay, the mass ass-presentation of (from left) Ava Rose, Bobbi Starr, Bree Olson, Trinity Post, and Mika Tan to the cruel whips of Nina Hartley and Claire Adams that led this story was in honor of the release of "O2: The Surrender of O."

Here Adams scandalizes the proper Hartley with some ribaldry.

At the Webmaster Access West convention, an annual get-together of Internet nerds who happen to own the porn industry, The Internet's Ashley Steele poses with two eskimo girls from the affiliate program Flashcash. Who cares if she can't see Russia from her house?

Then Bobbi Starr returned at Hollywood's Golden Apple Comics to launch Nerdcore's 2009 calendar (she's Miss November). As you can see, here she is attempting to fist the Silver Surfer.

Finally, we caught geektrix extraordinaire Justine Joli trying to leave the city of Los Angeles. "If you try to keep me," she did not say, "you never really had me."

Is Lisa Ann and Raquel Devine made special effort to channel the Veep nominee, the delightful Alana Evans was just blonde as Cindy McCain. We approve this choice.

Marilyn Chambers meets another magical Amazon in Hollywood last week.

Brand new Digital Playground contract star Angelina Armani^TM looks to the east on Sunset Boulevard. "I'm from New York so I'm just getting used to it out here," she said.

Let's hope this is not the view we get of Obama (played by Steve Driver) on November 4.

· "Hag Out" with Claire Dames (myspace.com)
· Kylee Reese (myspace.com)

Hollander: "You mean this moneymaker?"

At the "Pirates 2" premiere: If we were Riley Steele (pictured with Stoya) we'd just spend all our time gazing lovingly at ourselves, too.

Evan Stone with Teagan: "Fuck off, Fleshbot readers! I only read Deadspin!"

And now for something completely different: "Butch And Peaches," the interracial Hustler pictorial that got Larry Flynt shot. "Larry Flynt: The Right To Be Left Alone," an excellent documentary, is now on DVD.

* * * * *

• Order: "Pirates Ii: Stagnett's Revenge" (Adult DVD Empire)

· Hustler (hustlerworld.com)

See more of pornstars the way they really are after the jump.

Also on hand in this Adam & Eve movie was newcomer Feather Rosewood. Here she dutifully reenacts a pivotal scene from "Love Is A Battlefield."

But Rosewood tells us she restricts her nudity to solo scenes, if at all, so it is Sadie West, the brand-new New Sensations contract performer, who catches our fancy this week.

"I can fuck for a pretty long time," she said. "And I'm not afraid to get naked."

Fine. Be that way.

Join us after the gap for more Popshots, in which we show porn stars not as the world sees them but how they really are.

. . .

Elson and Sascha—America's hardest-working male German porn performer!—discuss an issue common to every couple: Whither creampie?

Across town, tiny Destiny dons a kabuki mask and a strap-on (read my article in September's Atlantic Monthly: Rejected Kiss Army Accessories) for David Aaron Clark's "Asia Noir 6."

The striking Coco Velvett slowly melted into that couch for the next 45 minutes as Destiny turned into a demon.

In posh Bel-Air, bite-sized Teagan modeled her new breasts for photographer Holly Randall. "They actually bunce when I run," said Teagan.

Meanwhile, Roxy DeVille says, "Hello, Fleshbot Readers!"

"People would tell me about your ass, Teagan, " said the towering DeVille, "but I really had to see it to believe it. Oh My Fucking God."

Instead, here's Scarlett Fay in a picture she took herself. More Popshots (including that of the shemale midget) after the jump.

. . .

The shemale midget in question seems to have no name. Ordinarily we'd say that was fine, because how many shemale midgets could there be? She could simply be "The Shemale Midget."

But records for the site Shemale Juice (I need to be alone now) are kept in Brazil, where I think they've got a shemale midget president. So let us raise a caipirinha glass to the unknown female midget!

Adrianna Nicole, on the other hand, is not a midget. She is, in fact, a bee.

In an exclusive interview, Nicole was simultaneously coy and outrageous. "While I can't explain why I might have looked like a bee in this picture," she said, "all I can say is that my hive was full of honey and I think the two might go together."

If Nicole is a bee, we would like to keep the living daylights out of her.

Tommy Gunn at home with his dog and fish.

Belladonna stepping on Mr. Pete's hog.

Rackonteur Ernest Greene (in that he puts people on racks) and Nina Hartley at home. She describes him as a Sex Minotaur.

Newcomer Robin Truelove. We know this is stretching, but MEOWRR.

Daniel and Madison Young do it doggie style in "Undone."

Finally, Ms. Margie Schnibbe (aka Vena Virago), director of "Pornstar Pets" at her "Honey Bunny" art opening.

See also: "Pornstar Pets"

Of course, being an adult awards show, there was much more going on everywhere but the stage. Still, we made sure to watch now and then, seeing as how we're voters. See our gallery (now fully captioned!) after the gap.

. . .

· XRCO Awards (xrco.com)

The latest movie by Sex Z Pictures' director Eli Cross of "Upload" fame, "Icon" is what the porn world knows as a "high-end vignette" picture, where the setups are a little more complex than Pool Guy Drops Trunks, Load.

From what we were able to determine as we ourselves stood on that roof, "Icon" features Scott as an A-Ha-by-way-of Xtina alternate reality warrior who pulls similarly underdressed women (including Jennifer Dark, Tori Black, and Morgan Layne) through a mirror to have sex with them on a four-poster bed on a roof at three in the morning when you can see your breath as L.A. police helicopters fly overhead.

This observer was overcome with a newfound respect for porn performers who nakedly brave the testicle-receding temperature to churn out three-to-seven minute increments of fapworthy product for your delectation.

Of course, Hillary Scott has no testicles to recede, and that is exactly why I took pictures.

. . .

There are actually three core cast members not returning from the first "Not the Bradys": Cindi, originally played by the orthodontically fabulous Leah Luv, has been replaced by Kacey Jordan, and the role of Greg, once inhabited by Benjamin Brat, will now be interpreted by Chris Slater.

Returning will be the delightful Aurora Snow as Jan, the wicked Alana Evans as Carol, the frank Lynn Lemay as Alice, and the reasonable Mike Horner as Mike. James Deen returns as Peter in a role he was born to play.

But if Hillary Scott isn't here, where is she? Stay tuned.

In the dawn of iPod Nano technology Parker stole away to pose in secret locations around Chatsworth. It was obvious then why Parker would be a big hit with fans.

"I'm going to flash this statue," she said.

· Casey Parker (caseyparker.com)
· Shane's World (gamelink.com)
· Buy "Casey Parker's California Dreamin'" (gamelink.com)

Submit to some snaps after the gap, slaves.

. . .

"O"lson looks over the contract she will sign for Stone's character, Steven, reprising his role from the first movie. Greene wrote the script respecting tenets of lifestyle arrangements of power exchange relationships.

"If I get something wrong," he said, "they let me know."

Olson in her collar. "She gets the submission," Greene said. "She's perfect for this."

Nina Hartley preparing the sealing wax in a crucible. "We bought this from a company that supplied (HBO's) 'Deadwood,'" she said. "They told us this was the only other one they've sold since then."

Guess who's posing? ("Thanks for letting me look smart," Stone, this year's AVN Male Performer of the Year, said.)

Like my contract with Gawker Media, O's deal with Steven was consummated on a table.

"O2: The Surrender of O" is scheduled for release in September.

· Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
· Bree Olson (breeolson.com)
· Evan Stone (evanstone.com)

See more snaps after the gap.

The story is as American as "The Grapes of Wrath": two roller rivals settle their differences in each others' vaginas and somehow Ron Jeremy is involved. What's more, Kayden Kross adds that special element to luchador surf-guitar music.

L.A.'s Fearleaders cheer on a cast of non-nude but just as compelling extras, including members of a real-life L.A. women's roller derby league.

Penny Flame adjusts her blades, Eva Angelina dazzles the camera, and Sunny Lane ponders a return to her former career of figure skating as Alektra Blue surveys the scene. Sunny and Alektra are the cast's most accomplished skaters.

Don't ask what Ava Rose used to polish the floor; just be happy for me.

Bree Olson needlessly adjusts something (don't adjust a goddamn thing) while the referee explains a call to Sunny Lane.

A member of Glendale's Moonlite Rollerway staff told me that the rink's Over 50 club would be skating right over this spot the next day. If they had only seen Bree et al this way, doubtless they would not conclude that youth is wasted on the wrong people.

· Adam & Eve (adameve.com)
· Zero Tolerance (zerotolerance.com)

Regardless, the finest of what this region has to offer frolicked anew this week, knowing that six long hours of winter would soon be over. Here's the delightful Audrey Hollander doffing her folksy gingham dress for our delectation. See more snaps after the gap.

In response to Digital Playground's recent contract star announcements, we wanted to remind you of Stoya. That is all.

Here's Adrianna Nicole and Annette Schwarz looking Adriannettadorable™.

Speaking of doffing, young Britney Stevens doffed her frilly tutu on the set of Hustler's "XXX 28", directed by Hollander's husband Otto Bauer.

Whatever Alec Knight is doing, he is making both Kissy Kapri and Stevens react the exact same way on either end.

Finally, Audrey Hollander from earlier in the day, in the dress she took off for the picture that began this week's Popshots. Doesn't she look good wholesome?

We begin with a return to last weekend's San Francisco Fetish Ball, where we couldn't tell what hurt more — those restraints or that electrical tape. See more snaps after the gap.

Author and firebrand Susie Bright is even more attractive when she's being coy. Here she is at a recent reading of her "The Best of Best American Erotica 2008" in Los Angeles.

The Battle of the Plus-sized Temptresses broke out in Burbank as Bettie Rage confronted Cleopatra of the Nile with stealing her mans.

"No one tries to steal my mans," Rage did not say.

Joey and Evanka Buttafuoco smile for the camera in Hollywood following the release of their sex tape. "We only found out that room had a camera in it later," Joey told me with a straight face.

And here's the lovely Amy Fisher, who mailed this picture from the set of a Howard Stern Show appearance that she would end up leaving prematurely. "Let's talk about 2008," she said.

Pursuant to your 'load dropping'...Blue-eyed and silver-tongued devil (he's a lawyer as well as a porn dude) Don Hollywood shares some pointers with whippersnapper Nick Manning.

Finally, the delightful Rose girls, Ava and Mia, get in some family reading time at Ava's place. Mia has returned to performing after a brief hiatus and Ava looks even sweeter without makeup.

* * * * *

Previously: Popshots Archive